Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stop that.
I have no idea what you
want to hear from me. If you
are nice I will think about
letting you try on my hat. Ask
me stuff okay. I'm Jessa, lovely to meet you.
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accidently:

stevieknickers:

accidently:

im running for student council

I’d vote for you

thank you, citizen 

ashazzminscreed:

omfgcate:

dqdbpb:

we’re halfway thru april, u know what tht means?

image

#ITS GONNA BE MAY

HOW DOES THIS MAKE ME LAUGH EVERY FUCKING YEAR!?

April 23rd / 274,572 notes

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bigpaynos:

g-asp:

White girls

what the fuck are you talking about “white girls” she’s 100% right take your misogynistic bullshit out of here
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in-my-mouth:

Pita Pizzas
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ghostsfacer:

ghostsfacer:

what if people got a new name every birthday

what if the name represented how old you were, like every 11 year old was named Josh

"I had my first kiss when I was Greg"

this wasn’t supposed to get notes

April 23rd / 213,066 notes

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ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

April 23rd / 60,126 notes

transatlanticwanker:

french-toast-with-maple-syrup:

SO WE WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND WE STOPPED AT STARBUCKS ON OUR WAY HOME AND I ORDERED AND THEY ASKED ME MY NAME AND I SAID “LORD VOLDEMORT” AND ONCE IT WAS READY
I SHIT YOU NOT
THE LADY SAID

“TALL VANILLA FRAPPUCINO FOR THE DARK LORD”

someone put this on a t-shirt

April 23rd / 140,358 notes